Megan Fox gets sun powered- Busy Bee Blogger
Justin Bieber who has been shooting scenes on CSI recently was taken to the hospital for "breathing problems". Of course it would have nothing to do with all the pot he smokes in the back of his trailer like all young Hollywood actors do. It is more than likely due to allergies. Yes. Allergies in this bitter cold fucking weather. Anyway, he was released right away and will continue his lame acting tour as planned.
Natalie Portman who has been busy as fuck lately making movies and millions of dollars is saying that she is "very superstitious" about being a mom. She doesn't wanna choose colors for the new baby's room or get any clothes cause it is too early in the pregnancy. For some odd reason she said, "I'm very Jewish that way. We don't do that." WTF? OK. Anyway, I know that Natalie will be naked MILF of the year in 2011 and if anyone disagrees with that you can talk to my lawyer.
This is a story from the National Enquirer and reprinted by Celebitchy so you should take it with a grain of salt and also take Celebitchy with a grain of salt cause their reporting sucks and this is probably the last time I will link to them. Anyway, understandably Selena Gomez's parents were pissed that she took off her purity ring. You know that band of metal that you put on your finger which represents a promise to your parents,friends and God that you will not have sex until you are married? All the Jonas brothers wore one until the eldest got hitched then he fucked the shit out of his latina Ashley Tisdale til her ovaries didn't work anymore. I say when you're young, have fun. Fuck purity rings. They are for goodie-goodies. And besides, she took it off for Justin Bieber. That dude needs to get some action. With all the pussy that is thrown at him on a regular basis, he needs to indulge every now and then.
I really do not know what the obsession with reality tv is these days. And I am even more confused how they can take a game show like Celebrity Apprentice and call it reality tv. Anyway, Donal Trump announced all the d-listers that will be headlining the next season of Celebrity Apprentice and the cast is pretty pathetic but I am sure old house moms who weigh 600 lbs. and just wanna sit on the couch eating ice cream out of a giant bowl because facing their own reality is too depressing, will love the show.
Martha Stewart who is most famous for going to jail and having an affair with Hunter S. Thompson got nine stiches this week because she got head butted by her french bull dog. Of course this could have been some sort of domestic abuse and she used the bull dog as an excuse but I am sure after having multiple run-ins with Big Bertha and the Bettys in the clink, she knows how to defend herself.
Selma Blair is one hot piece of petite ass and she is going to destroy that sexiness by getting herself pregnant. I am actually really happy for her and I hope that by having a kid it will finally take that frumpy look off her face. No word yet on whether it is a boy or a girl but I hope she gets lucky and has twins and gets both! I can't imagine Selma being a mom but all kinds of unexpectant people have kids out of the blue. Just join Facebook and you will realize that.
This day in music history...- Busy Bee Blogger
Lindsay Lohan may be on the straight and narrow now with a new place and a new roommate and keeping things cool with her attention whore mother and her fucked up dad but she is not out of the woods yet. She still might be arrested by the Riverside County DA for assault. The chick who claims LiLo assaulted her, Dawn Holland, is saying that she will not press charges but the DA is now furthering their investigation into the incident. If anything was there I figure they would have already taken Lindsay Lohan into custody but the courts love Lindsay so no judge in California is gonna see Lindsay doing so well and take all that away from her cause she snapped the phone out of some bitches hand.
Apparently Snooki is a role model to some kids and any parent who lets their kid watch Jersey Shore should be locked up for child abuse. Anyway, here is a pic of Snooki making over an 11-year-old. WTF does an 11-year-old know about going out and getting wasted and making an ass of herself for the whole world to see on MTV? Nothing I hope.
Keira Knightly has been hooked up with some douchebag named Rupert Friend for God knows how logn but now her and her massive jaw bones decided to move on. This is good cause I have seen her naked before and I really wanna see her naked again and if she is sitting at home, baking cookies and getting fat then she is not out there jogging and keeping the weight off and posing naked for magazines trying to make herself more sexy for the American public. Remember the photo shoot she did with Scarlett Johansson? She needs to do that again only both of them need to be photographed sitting right next to each other with their backs on the ground. Belly up.
Kelsey Grammer who used to be a somebody in the television world, is being accused of being a cross dresser by his ex-wife. I could see him doing some gay shit like that because everything about this guy screams gay. I am sure a lot of librarians and English majors interpret Kelsey as "classy" or "cerebral" but to me he is just gay.
Brett Favre's sister was arrested the other day on a meth bust where she was detained with five other people. I could give a flying fuck less about Brett Favre cause he is a media whore and now his family is jumping on the 15 minutes of fame bandwagon. I hope if this chick is addicted, she gets clean but as for Brett, just retire already dude.
Suck on THAT Dr.Drew. I know that a lot of people in this world are losers and they can not afford therapy. Not that there is a direct correlation. You can be a loser and afford the best therapy in the world and still be a loser but most people are losers and do not believe in therapy, therefore they remain to be losers. Anyway, Dr.Drew and Dr.Phil have been competing for the media spotlight ever since they started their career and they are experts in helping out losers. Now, Ted Williams, the homeless man with the golden voice, is going to rehab because of what Dr. Phil said to him on his show. I am sure Dr.Drew is pissed he didn't get a crack at Ted Williams first and he probably peed a little bit in his faggy pink underpants. I am glad Ted Williams is getting help and with the voice that he has, I am sure he will be able to make it big with just about any voice-over company he likes and we will probably be hearing a lot of him in the future.
Daniel Craig is coming back for more Bond movies- Busy Bee Blogger
Christina Aguilera is being the good mom she is and making her child believe that everything is perfect and fun in the world when the harsh reality of their father moving out of the house is being surpressed into a faded memory of a trip to Disneyland. The important thing to remember in this scenario is that Christina Aguilera is still on the market and is something to be hopeful about. I doubt I have a chance with her but I am sure someone does and if that someone has a camcorder...well.
Jersey Shore's Snooki says she is sick of her nickname but if it wasn't for the bizarre nickname, I doubt people would know who she is. I have got it again and again from old people when I talk about Snooki they all say the same thing. "What's a Snooki?" Anyway, I like this chick a lot and her real name is Nicole Polizzi which is super boring so I hope she sticks with Snooki. Now if she wanted to go into movies or sitcoms or something that meant she would have to actually be talented, then yes, I would like to see a change but that is never gonna happen so she may as well stay up in Jersey and continue to get drunk and smoosh. She wrote a book which is getting shit reviews but she will not shut the fuck up on Twitter ( @Sn00ki ) about all the book signings that she is doing. I guess the promoters figured that tons of people would show up just because it is Snooki but I doubt anyone who actually bought a book will read past page three because it is superficial bullshit that was jotted down by a ghost writer while Snooki sat on a couch half passed out mumbling bullshit that she likes about Jersey. Loser.
Anyone remember that tattooed nazi chick that Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock with? Yea, her name is Michelle "Bombshell" McGhee or as I like to call her Michelle Bombshell. Well her and a couple other chicks partied with Charlie Sheen the other night in Las Vegas when everyone and their brother knows he is staying and wish he wouldn't. I am sure money changed hands somewhere in the night to sit around with his loser ass while he drinks and parties and eventually have sex with him and even though Bombshell is a model and the other chicks are porn stars, I doubt that any of them really wanted to be around Charlie and I SERIOUSLY doubt they actually wanted to fuck him. Hence the money. Anyway, I hope this dude gets help soon cause he can be a trainwreck as much as he wants to and for some reason I find myself jokeless when I write about him. He is just sorta...normal. Minus the alcoholism.
Nicole Kidman who used to be really hot before she turned into some wild eyed old lady is now admitting to using botox. Of course this news has to come out of the British press because if the U.S. press got this news they would crumple it up and toss it in the trash bin across the cubicle. Anyway, she still looks kinda hot but the last thing she needs now is plastic surgery cause that would just make her into more of a freak. I am pretty sure her career peaked with Eyes Wide Shut and she is naked as fuck in that movie so she did a good job. She should really just retire and enjoy the money she has earned and... I can't believe I am saying this...keep her clothes on.
John Travolta in his overwhelming attempt to prove to the world that he is not gay, decided he would pose with his very sexy and very female wife Kelly Preston with their new baby on the cover of People magazine. I am not sure if they got paid for this but I am willing to bet that they did. I am happy for em' though cause they seem like a cool family. The baby on the other hand looks like it has been givin' a few cc's of a sedative so his little unprofessional ass didn't scream and bitch during the photo shoot.
News is being reported today that Kate Hudson is gonna be a momma. First Owen Wilson's pussy ass becomes a dad and now Kate Hudson and her perfect derierre is gonna be ruined with mom hips. I guess I am sort of happy for her but I can never get over how ugly a woman's body becomes after giving birth. I hope this chick hits the gym big time after poppin' out her wittle baby.
Millionaire Matchmaker looks like shit- Busy Bee Blogger
Ted Williams, the hobo with the golden voice, was detained by the police because of an argument he had with his daughter in the lobby of a hotel. I heard this dude's voice on the first YouTube video of him and I gotta say it was perfect for radio. Since the video was posted, offers came flooding in from all over the country for him to do voice-overs and he inked a deal with Kraft cheese worth thousands. That is pretty cool. I am gonna make a sign that says I was born with a golden voice and then when people see me on the highway they can ask me to prove it and when I shatter their windshield with a high pitched scream, they will throw all their money at me and speed away.
You know that white haired fudgepacker Dr. Drew Pinskey? Well yea he is getting his own show on CW because capitalizing on people pain and suffering on MTV wasn't enough and now he wants to try to "help" people on another network. I called him out on his bullshit and asked why he thinks he is an expert on addiction when he himself has never been an addict and why he decides to do all his "mentoring" on MTV instead of in a hospital where he can actually learn something and he responded by blocking me on Twitter. Be sure to follow him ( @DrDrew ) and harass him and ask him why he is such a fraud.
Jewel is preggers which I guess is a good thing as long as the baby doesn't rip open her vagina with it's massive snaggletooth. I know it is mean to make fun of people before they are even born what what can I say? It is what I do. Anyway, I am not sure who this imbred hick is standing next to her in the picture but I am assuming it is her baby daddy. What's that you say? All I gotta do is pound beer and drive around in my pick em' up truck with a cowboy hat on to fuck chicks as hot as jewel? Done and done!
Michael Douglas, who had been suffering with a cancer ridden tumor in his throat, is now healthy. This makes me happy cause anyone who gets to have sex with Catherine Zeta-Jones on a regular basis should have a healthy body so he can enjoy that sex. Dude is like 800 years old so I am sure the dude needs viagra to keep it up even when CZJ is waving her well manicured backyard in your face. God DAMNIT I wanna bang CZJ!
Charlie Sheen was spotted at Palms Hotel in Las Vegas pounding shots of vodka. According to sources, there were other shots before that. I personally have struggled with alcoholism for years and I know it takes a lot to be clean but when you have everything in the world, millions of dollars, a hit tv show and God given good looks, why the fuck would you wanna fuck shit up by getting tanked? I hope this guy goes to rehab soon and gets his shit together so Two And A Half Men doesn't get cancelled because that shit is funny.
Owen Wilson who is good at banging hot chicks is going to be a dad "any day now". The news is pretty exciting but I think since he is such a pussy, his kid will get beat up on a regular basis when he/she starts to attend school. I don't like Owen Wilson and his crooked ass nose but whatever.
Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock might be a real item- Busy Bee Blogger
I think Lindsay is confused. She used to do just about anything to stay in the public eye and that usually meant falling drunk out of a bar in Hollywood at 3 a.m. and now that she is clean, she is not sure what to do with herself. She attended a Lakers game last night after she Tweeted that Kobe Bryant sent her some hats to peep the game out but she said she wouldn't because she is from New York and "had to be loyal". Anyway, she tipped people off on Twitter and then followed through with some good, wholesome sports fun with no drugs or alcohol involved. I am starting to like the new Lindsay.
Britney Spears that has had a single floating around the internet without her voice for a while now has leaked, or someone she knows leaked, her song Hold It Against Me online. It is a pretty good song and everyone is going apeshit for it right now. It really reminds me of the techno song 4 Strings but is better. I am not gonna link the song itself because it is probably copyright infringement and it will probably be taken down by the end of the day anyway. Great song though. Check it out.
Sarah Palin might have a second season of Sarah Palin's Alaska coming down the pipeline but if she does the show, she will not have time to run for president in 2012. If you don't remember Barack Obama started his campaign for president in 2007 and it seems that every time a new election cycle begins, it starts earlier and earlier. I would love to see Sarah run for president though I do not necessarily agree with all of her policies. I did read her book Going Rogue and it was very good. I am an independent and tend to lean for Obama but we will see what happens between now and then. I never watched her show and I am sure I will not for the second season but if she does decide to be a full on media whore, TLC is the place to do it.
vanessa Hudgens who just got dumped or dumped or mutually agreed to stop seeing Zac Efron just hooked back up with him. Sources at a night club said they saw the two of them making out. Nice. I love that Vanessa didn't pussyfoot around what people really wanted to see for a long time which was her naked. And just look at this pic of Zac Efron. I am not gay but he is one good looking man. I am glad cause I always liked them. High School Musical 2 is actually a pretty good flick and since I have nieces I have seen it a million times. Here to hoping the cutest couple in Hollywood stay together this time.
Lindsay Lohan who just got out of Betty Ford bought a house, or is renting a house, next door to her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson and though I am not sure why she did that, she still has her priorities straight by having a roommate that is just as dedicated as LiLo is to her sobriety. I am guessing the only real reason LiLo got a new roommate was to show off in front of SamRo by showing her that she can move on in her love life without the dj. Oh yea, and the roommate is living there rent free. Nice. I am still kind of on the fence regarding Lindsay Lohan. On one hand, she might go back to the clink for an alleged assault that occurred on the Betty Ford grounds back in December but if that doesn't go anywhere, then she actually has her shit together FINALLY. I hope she stays clean and out of jail and I think I can start liking her again.
Victoria Beckham who recently destroyed faith in mankind by getting her breast implants removed is now pregnant with her fourth child. So there is a solution for you right there. If you don't like your breast implants, just get pregnant and you will get boobs all over again. Anyway, I am happy for her and her husband, soccer star David Beckham. Congrats!
Did John Edwards get engaged before wife's death?- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Unlike Natalie Portman, Jennifer Connelly knows how to show off a baby bump and get a little free press for herself. She looks great as she always does and she has some experience in theis area so it is not like she doesn't know what she is doing. Anyway, I am not sure when the baby is due but I hope soon so she can get back into bikini shape.
Super hotty Petra Nemcova is engaged to a dude named Jamie Bleman. I am not sure what this dude is packin' downstairs but it has to be big because Petra told me personally several months ago that she was the biggest she had ever seen. One of the two things I just told you are true. It is up to you to decide which.
If you are an active reader of this blog then you all know all too much about how K-Fed is raking in $22k in alimony every month from Britney Spears. Well, as it runs out (which I didn't know) if he gets married again, all that money is gone. And he will have to rely on Victoria Prince, his girlfriend of two years, for money. If I were K-Fed and were even slightly famous and had tens of thousands of dollars comin' to me every month, the last thing I would do was get married. Anyway, it is nice to hear from K-Fed again. It has been a while.
Raven Symone who has starred in a shitload of tv shows including That's So Raven on Disney says that she thought she was attractive when she was over weight. I think she looks good now but I don't wanna make too many sexy comments cause I am not sure exactly how old she is. She is like Miley Cyrus or the Olsen twins, no matter how old they are, they still look like they are 15. I am glad I am not that way but then again I don't have an "image" to maintain that rakes me in millions of dollars on a yearly basis. Anyway, only a ped would actually wanna fuck this chick but now he has a little less cushion for the pushin'.
JWOWW the (or one of) the super annoying chick on Jersey Shore has some nude pics being circulated around by her ex-boyfriend and according to him, she has a shitload of cellulite. Of course JWOWW looked slammin' in her see throgh nipple pasties at whatever awards show that was the other night but I don't wanna see a cellulite ridden thigh leading up to a cellulite ridden ass. Anyway, if she ever does decide to do Playboy, they have airbrushers for that.
Britney Spears has another "I wish I was Madonna" single coming out soon and it is probably just as bad as "Three". I heard a sample of it with another singer's voice and it sounded great but it is going to sound like shit with Britney's distorted nasal voice. Anyway, I don't really think she cares that it was leaked cause the official song (and probably video) will be out next week. Stay tuned...
Angelina Jolie in rehab?- Busy Bee Blogger
Elizabeth Edwards, the former wife of John Edwards who lost his vice presidential bid on the democrats side in 2004 wrote a will out literally a week before she died where she left everything to her three children. John got nothing because he fucked everything that moved and I am sure she was not too keen on letting him have jack shit. Anyway, her oldest daughter is the executor of the will whatever that means.
Victoria Beckham who once upon a time had the most killer boobs in Hollywood has confirmed to Star magazine that she has gotten breast reduction surgery recently. This sucks! If any chick out there who thinks breast implants are cool and then the poster child of awesome tits gets her knockers deflated, what will the young ones think? Dolly Parton, yes, she needs a boob reduction but Victoria Beckham? She is the devil I say. The devil.
Last night was The People's Choice Awards and unlike many other gossip bloggers, I did not watch. However, the people have spoken and they chose Kristen Stewart as the most adored female celebrity or some shit. She even beat Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie which many people would think is a Herculean challenge but I find to be quite reasonable. I love seeing Angelina Jolie naked as much as the next guy but she just doesn't really do it for me and Jennifer Aniston is smokin' hot and everything but the only thing she was good in was He's Just Not That Into You which was a good movie because of all the other excellent stars in it. Congrats Kristen! You deserve it.
Jaime Pressly who was more than likely not at The People's Choice Awards was arrested last night around 11 p.m. and was charged with DUI. This is not a DWI (driving while intoxicated) but a DUI (driving under the influence) so who knows if this chick is into drugs now. She will probably not see much success over My Name Is Earl and Joe Dirt but she is smokin' hot and I wanna see more of her. I will update y'all when I hear what she will be fined/ how long she goes to jail. I am not sure if Jaime has really had any run-ins with the law before. I will keep you guys posted.
Snooki thinks that since she is on a hit show on MTV that all of a sudden the world wants to hear what she has to say. Luckily, this is not an autobiography and it is just something completely made up. I watched almost the full season of Jersey Shore when they were in Miami and I don't remember any scenes where Snooki was huddled down in a den with reading glasses on going over chapter after chapter of her "novel", getting it ready for publication. No, she has a ghost writer. I am sure she saw how successful Lauren Conrad was with her post-reality author career and thought she could cash in as well. The only difference is that Lauren's books are actually good and got amazing reviews from many papers and book clubs and there was a huge demand for a second novel so we got "Sweet Little Lies" and I have it on my amazon.com wishlist. I am sure people will pick up Snooki's book and read it just because it has her face on the cover and then give it shit reviews cause all this girl is good at doing is getting drunk and "smooshing".
Kate Gosselin in an attempt to be a sexy and young 20-year-old got some ink on her hip right next to her vajayjay. I am not sure what it is a picture of but I am sure it is a butterfly or some other delicate shit. I would be impressed if she actually became a tattoo enthusiast and got some serious ink on her arms but she is a stay at home/attention whore mom so she is not gonna get anything that would tarnish her image as if it had not been tarnished enough.
January Jones is intimidating- Busy Bee Blogger
