Celebrity News

Jennifer Aniston doesn't know shit about men because she only dates men who want to make a name for themselves and get in the exclusive "I touched Jennifer Aniston naked" club and she can not hold down a boyfriend so in her desperation she decided to turn to her 77-year-old father for help. His advice? Go back to her roots. Whatever the fuck that means?

It seems that Bradley Cooper is having no trouble at all from moving on from the relationship with Renee Zelwegger and I am sure that was easy. At least it is easy for him when he can land any chick in Hollywood that he likes. He briefly had a small relationship with Jennifer Aniston and they may be hooking up again. Talk about sex appeal. RAWR!

Jennifer Aniston who has pretty much had the same hair cut and color since her days with the show Friends showed off a shorter cut which everyone thinks is so edgy. If the bitch did a straight on Emma Watson cut, then it would be edgy. This shit looks normal. Anyway, bitch looks hot as ever and I am quite curious as to know if the carpet matches the drapes but that is another post for another time.

Heidi Montag didn't show up to the "Go With It" premiere because she is too embarrassed that people would rip on her because of her butchered face but decided to tell the tabloids that Jennifer Aniston banned her. I doubt Jennifer could give a fuck less if some nothing nobody reality star shows up to her movie premiere but Heidi is saying it is her fault she is banned. Even if I directed this fucking movie, you wouldn't catch me within 100 yards of this premiere because it was basically a who's who of has been actors and actresses.

It is being reported that John Mayer is being heckled at his shows because he split with Jennifer Aniston but he is probably being heckled cause his music sucks. Still doesn't help that he hooked up with one of the unluckiest women on the planet. Her career peaked with Friends and then she got married, got divorced and then starred in a bunch of embarrassing and ironic movies like The Break Up and He's Just Not That Into You. Anyway, I don't see the reason why he split with Jennifer in the first place. She is smokin' hot but must be TERRIBLE in bed to have so many guys dump her on her ass.

Jennifer Aniston was offered a job at Saturday Night Live back in the day but turned it down for Friends. Did the people at SNL really think they could land a 24 karat piece of ass like Aniston? The hottest cast member SNL has ever had was Sarah Silverman and she is not that hot. Besides Jennifer Aniston made $1 million and episode on Friends. What does Lorne Michaels pay? I gurantee it is not that much.

Last night was The People's Choice Awards and unlike many other gossip bloggers, I did not watch. However, the people have spoken and they chose Kristen Stewart as the most adored female celebrity or some shit. She even beat Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie which many people would think is a Herculean challenge but I find to be quite reasonable. I love seeing Angelina Jolie naked as much as the next guy but she just doesn't really do it for me and Jennifer Aniston is smokin' hot and everything but the only thing she was good in was He's Just Not That Into You which was a good movie because of all the other excellent stars in it. Congrats Kristen! You deserve it.

Jennifer Aniston has a shitty acting career. I think we all know that. She will never get an Oscar or win any type of real award because she gets movie roles because she is hot and if it is rated R all the dudes I know flock to the theatre in hopes of finally seeing Jennifer Aniston do a full frontal nudity scene. Whcih hasn't happened yet and will probably never happen. There is some no name British actor dude who is ripping on Jen now and for some reason the tabloids are reporting on it as if it is something new. This is stale ass late 90's news. Let's move on.

Jennifer Aniston is going on hiatus from her friendship with Chelsea Handler not because Chelsea is annoying you see but because Jennifer doesn't want people to feel sorry for her because of the Angelina Jolie comments Chelsea made. Of course Aniston made a career off people feeling sorry for her because Jennifer Aniston has no ascertainable talent and sucks in everything except He's Just Not That Into You which is a role she was born to play. I am not sure where Jen willgo from here but I seriously doubt it is up.

Chelsea Handler is not done talking about Angelina Jolie yet- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

I am not sure why people still have a fascination with the stars of Friends but I think that they think that if you put all the cast members in the same room again that hilarity would ensue and everyone would have an orgasm of laughter. Anyway, Jennifer Aniston will be coming back to tv momentarily to star alongside her former Friends star Courtney Cox on Courtney's show Cougar Town. I won't be tuning in and I am not sure what channel it is even on and until today I did not know the show even existed but there you have it. Maybe if we get lucky they will kiss but it is doubtful.

Jennifer Aniston got a restraining order today after a man was found on her property with a knife, roll of duct tape and a bag of unknown materials (dildos). Anyway, I can not blame the dude for wanting to stalk one of the hottest chicks in Hollywood but rape is never the answer. You have to stalk them, tap their phone and find out shit they like and then approach them at the bar and charm them with your "wit" and convince them that you are in to the same shit they are in to. That is how it's done. Booyah!

I am sick and tired of seeing post titles that say "So and so topless" and then click the link only to see that so and so is covering their tits. I mean does Jennifer Anistont think her nipples are the holy grail or something? Just show us what you got. That Marley And Me money will run out eventually so why not show off your slammin' bod while you still are wrinkle free?

Hey everyone. For some reason Blogger is fucking up on me and not letting me post
pictures here. I hope they unfuck themselves by tomorrow and blog posts will resume
as usual. I apologize for the delay. In the meantime, peep out these blogs...

Kim Kardashian is good at Twitter.
[ The Blemish ]

Britey Spears' mother has moved in with her.
[ Celebrity Dirty Laundry ]

Alessandria Ambrosio is a supermodel mom.
[ Celebrity Puke ]

Jennifer Aniston side boob.
[ City Rag ]

Carrie Prejean is being sued.
[ Daily Stab ]

Vikki Blows is topless.
[ Egotastic ]

Obama-care is not socialized medicine.
[ Secret Ninja ]

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have split, again. The on-again, off-again
couple are off-again this time because John Mayer has an obsession with
twitter. Who doesn't? Twitter is the fucking bomb! Did you see that pic of
Demi Moore's ass? Twitter fucking rocks! Apparently this time is was Aniston
who broke up with Mayer. A source close to the couple said, "He took the
break-up like a man." Probably because he knows her sorry ass will come
crawling back in two weeks begging for sex. Be coy with her John. Let her
think she has you back in her good graces and then start twittering about
your sex life. If she loves you she will let it slide. Otherwise, dump her old
ass and get it on with some groupies. That is what you should have been
doing all along. What is wrong with you?
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It seems that Jennifer Aniston finds a way to get dumped even when she is
not dating anyone. It is being reported AGAIN that Jennifer Aniston got dumped
AGAIN. I am going to take her side on this one and say that she wanted to be
single. She was photographed with a mystery man about a month ago, maybe
sooner. Apparently the dumping occured just after The Golden Globes by
Mayer himself. I think Mayer is a really cool guy and has some awesome
tattos, but does he think he can really do better than Jennifer Aniston?
I mean sure he could to better, but sexually? Jen I bet is a tiger in bed
and I doubt John could top her. But when it comes to actually "being friends"
and trying to maintain a relationship with has got to be one of the most
boring endeavors ever enacted upon by human man. Instead, be shallow
John. Date bar room floozys. Get laid and get alid often. This will make up
for the hole in your heart. Which is probably healing up nicely since the
only person who you hurt was the soulless Jennifer Aniston. So sleep with
many and sleep with them often. And take a few pics if you have the time.
Be sure to share them with all your buddies on Facebook too. I am sure
they would appreciate them.
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Sexy. All kinds of sexy. I want Jennifer Aniston to pose nude in Playboy more than
anything else but I will settle for this in the meantime. Now don't go out and buy
this issue of GQ. You have all the money shots right here. She won't get anymore
naked in the pages and her interview will be the same old boring crap you can
always expect to spill from Aniston's mouth. Trust me. So far we have seen Jennifer
Aniston's ass, a very blurry one, but we saw it. And we also saw her tits from the
movie The Breakup. Now we weren't supposed to see her tits but those pictures
leaked and we saw them. Very nice. Now we are missing the third puzzle piece.
The poontang. Eventually time will run out and she will be exiting a car or going
out to a club or a restaurant and BOOM we will get an upskirt money shot. When
that happens, it will be posted here, but until then, enjoy jacking off to semi nude
pics of a 40 year old.
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Desperate for anumber of things, but this time it is desperation to get herself
pregnant. She calls all the pregnancy rumors circulating around her hysterical.
However they wouldn't be so hysterical if she could find a boyfriend and actually
settle down and, in the long run, GET HERSELF PREGNANT. She also commented
on the recent issue of Vogue that published on the cover Jen's quote saying
what Angelina did to her was "very uncool." She told Entertainment Weekly, " I
am just surprised that Vogue would go so tabloid." Even Vogue would go to the
extend of being considered "tabloid" to rub yet another "Jen got dissed" story in
their headlines. There just isn't a lot of material here for Jen, she is perfect in every
way. She doesn't go out clubbing. She doesn't abuse drugs or alcohol. And she went
from being married to one of the richest actors of all time to being left for some
morbid goth chick that is Angelina Jolie. So making fun of Aniston for getting
stood up is kinda all people have to write about. But I am not complaining. Hell
I enjoy it.
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More than likely, since it was a public affair, we will never hear the end of the
back and forth bitching between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. According
to sources Brad Pitt recently called Jen to tell her that it was uncool to call
Brangelina "uncool." What Aniston told Vogue magazine was that the fact that
Brad got a divorce after meeting Jolie on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and
him leaving her for Jolie was "very uncool." After a number of failed relationships
on Aniston's part, I believe that she is the one who is uncool. Just look at how cool
Brad Pitt is. He's got a hot wife, beautiful ever expanding family and has all the
Hollywood work one guy can tackle at a time. That is cool in my book. What Aniston?
You think perfect blonde hair and millions of dollars will make you poular? I don't
think so. Just because you have a c-cup and an ass that you can bounce a quarter
off of doesn't make... ok ,yes you are cool. Now will you please have sex with me?
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