Celebrity News

Kim Kardashian returned home from a day of shopping and in the bedroom, written in rose pedals was....blah, blah, blah. This superficial bitch who could honestly care less about anyone else in this world besides her managed to trick some unlucky fool into putting a ring on her and I am sure neither will have a prenup. This marriage will seriously last 6 months. And that is me being nice.

Kim Kardashian has her panties in a wad because the Turkish Cosmopolitan used her on their cover and she is Armenian and Turks hate the Armenians or some shit and this is really useless to care about because Kim and her entire life is a giant waste of time anyway. Kim should feel lucky that she is on any magazine cover at all. If you had told me five years ago that getting a golden shower would catapult a woman to fame I would have called you a bold faced liar but then I would be proven wrong.

Kim Kardashian is trying her luck with the music world which will basically be Paris Hilton 2.0. Her music won't go anywhere but she will look good in concert as long as she shows off that massive ass of hers.

Kim Kardashian was pretty good friends with Paris Hilton for a long time many years ago but Kim's oversized ass and bitchy attitude caused them to separate. That and Paris is one of the hottest chicks who has ever lived and is just kind of famous...because. As Kim has to work for her fame. Once Kim realized she can be famous without having to leach on to anyway by releasing her own sex tape, the offers came rolling in. And there is even a rumor circulating in certain circles saying another Kim K sex tape is on the way. And of course you can expect one from Paris in the years to come as well cause you know that bitch can not resist. Anyway, they are friends again so let's all eat a piece of cake and give a sigh of indifference because these two will never be president. Even of a McDonalds.

First she hates them and now she likes them. I love them cause Kim is pretty hot and I never refuse to look at pics of a hot chick without her clothes on. Of course Kim really shouldn't be quick to hate on anything involving her and nudity cause if she didn't take her clothes off in the first place, there would be a snowball's chance in hell of her ever being famous. So yes, as sure as the sun rises and sets, you can be sure that Kim Kardashian will be removing clothing and showing off that massive ass of hers once again for some magazine or some porno or something.

Kim Kardashian who is probably as talented at making music as she is at heart surgery is going to be releasing a single soon and guess who she got to produce it? Kanye West. Of course Kanye could butcher a pink squirrel on stage at one of his concerts and it would just make more people show up. "Did you hear about the squirrel? Yea, he butchered that fucker! I hope he kills two tonight." This dude can do no wrong in the eyes of his fans. Even if it means helping a talentless chick spread her talentless...ness to losers across the globe. The fact that she is the owner of two butt cheeks that he likes to put his penis between makes a difference in this scenario.

Kim Kardashian is saying that she will stay single throughout 2011 but I am seriously doubting that shit. This chick hooks up with a new guy almost every night and she will always need something to put up that massive pooper of hers. Anyway, yea so that is her New Years Resolution. My New Years Resolution? To quit smoking so much crack and masturbating furiously to pictures of Kim K. I can do it. One is more addictive than the other. I will let you decide which.

Justin Bieber trading cards. Jesus God- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

After shooting down rumors that she was pregnant with Kanye West's baby, Kim Kardashian decided to get a fresh perspective on her love life and ditch the douche bag Gabriel Aubry and very back on to the open market. I don't stand a chance with her because I do not like chicks with big asses but I am sure she will find someone desperate enough to be in the tabloids to date her so they can see their mug in the glossys.

Maury Povich will sell you a young girl's virginity- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Rumors have been floating around quite a bit the past few days because the once reputable MediaTakeOut.com reported that Kim Kardashian was pregnant with Kanye wets's baby. I wasn't even aware that they were bumping uglies but I wouldn't be all that surprised if they were. Anyway, as it turns out she is not pregnant but that would have been pretty cool if she were. Not because they are both stars and would make an interesting couple, but because if Kim got pregnant, that would mean her ass would actually get fatter than it already is. That would be a site to see. That is something they could put in Ripley's Believe It Or Not.

Kim Kardashian and a shit load of other celebrities are going to sign off on Twitter and other social networking sites in an effort to raise $1 million for charities this week. I am sure sluts like Tila Tequila will not be able to keep their trap shut long enough to make the deadline but that is just one person. Kim Kardashian,Taylor Swift and Lady GaGa are just a few of the celebs that are pledging to keep quiet on the web while $ is being raised. Anyway, I am not a celebrity so I will not be keeping quiet but I am sure big egoed bloggers like Perez Hilton who thinks he is a celeb when all the real celebs giggle behind his back will stay quiet and then log back on the day after and take full credit on raising the big bucks.

It seems that Kim Kardashian is not happy with being one of the most famous people in the world and holding the Guiness World Record of having the largest ass on earth and wants to try her hand at music. Of course the only musician out there that made a healthy transition from..whatever the fuck Kim Kardashian does into music is Scarlett Johanssen. Of course no one really goes to her concerts for music but mostly just to stare at her boobs but I guess that is what will be going on with Kim. Only people will be staring at her ass and not her boobs. Unless she plans on singing with her ass facing the crowd, I doubt her career will go anywhere. I am definitely not looking forward to seeing Kim sing but she may surprise us. And that other guy in the photo? That is The Dream who helped Rihanna and Beyonce throw together some hits. Sad, sad man.

John Mayer as I reported yesterday has pretty much fucked every nice piece of tail in Hollywood and I will forever be jealous of him. Now he has his eyes on Kim Kardashian but since he isn't a 300 lb. football player, he will never fuck her. I never really had a thing for Kim Kardashian but if she was naked in my bed and begging for sex, I guess I would tap that shit. You gotta admire Mayer. This is definitely a challenge. I guess when you fucked every desirable chick in H-wood, you gotta make life interesting.

Kim Kardashian was dating some douchebag and they broke up blah,blah. The important news is that she is single again and that means there is really nothing stopping her from Tweeting bikini pics of herself. She could be a real attention whore and Tweet naked pics of herself but I doubt she will do that because she is already pissed that Playboy released a few older nude pics of her. Anyway, I could use this opportunity to buy a plane ticket to California and try to get on that shit myself but she is way to botoxy and superficialy for me. Besides I like my girls with a tight, firm butt. Not a 65 inch monstrosity that only makes me think of big poop.

The other day while in Paris Kim Kardashian and her mother bought $100k worth of purses. If I had that kind of money to throw around you all know I would be hitting up the whore houses left and right trying to catch as many STDs that could be caught in under a 24 hour period but some people have different priorities. Of course in poor people speak $100k in purses means over 100 purses but these little sluts bought seven. Starving children in Malaysia? Ha! Tough luck. I need a new bag to carry around my blackberry and lipstick in.

Here is Kim Kardashian getting botox injections because she is Hollywood royalty trash like that. It looks pretty painful and from now on for the rest of her life people will not be able to tell whether she is surprised or not. Not my kind of thing.

Last night at Lavo in Las Vegas Paris Hilton got pissed off at her former friend Kim Kardashian because Kim was flown in to the city via private jet and Paris was not. I am still not sure what the big fuss over Kim Kardashian and Keeping Up With The Kardashians is all about because I have watched the show before and it sucks. Also, Kim has a big ass. And not a big ass in a good way. In fact, there is no big ass in a good way except for maybe the exception of J.Lo. I like a tight and firm ass that Paris has. Anyway, I could give a fuck less if these two are feuding. Neither of them have any talent and I won't be losing any sleep over who gets to take the private jet and who doesn't.

I had no idea that Kim Kardashian was married before but apparently she was and her husband beat the living shit out of her on a regular basis. This dude deserves to have his balls cut off and shoved down her throat but more than likely he will walk away from all this. It isn't fair but that is how it goes in the real world. Poor Kim.
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