Celebrity News

I cannot remember if I posted that Teri Hatcher and Eva Longoria are set to
kidd on Desperate Housewives or not but the bottom line is, they are. It sounds
like a lot of fun and no I will not be tuning in to see it. It will be on YouTube.
When asked by Us magazine about the kiss she said, "I did not kiss her. She
kissed me. We had fun." That is just hot. I am sure that is what Teri tells
herself before she goes to bed at night. I did not kiss a girl, she kissed me.
Right. Before you know it Teri will be buying Playboy and hanging out at strip
clubs. Your secret is out you rug munching ,cunt bumping lesbo.
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In case you didn't hear, Megan Fox is single.
[ The Blemish ]

Sophie Anderton nude!
[ Egotastic ]

Was Rihanna pregnant?
[ popbytes ]

Josh Hartnett is incognito.
[ Celebrity Puke ]

Paris Hilton has a new boyfriend.
[ Fatback Media ]

Rihanna will take the stand against Chris
Brown.
[ Geno's World ]

Cute college girl of the day.
[ College Humor ]

NYC graffiti art via subway cars.
[ City Rag ]

Katie Holmes on the set of some piece
of shit.
[ Daily Stab ]

Before they were famous: Nicollette
Sheridan.
[ Seriously? OMG! WTF? ]

It seems that Adnan Ghalib is being charged with three felonies. He was
charged and arrested this morning for running over a court officer when
he was trying to serve Adnan with a restraining order from Britney Spears.
Afterwards, Adnan plead not guilty. If he had just plead no contest then he
could have plead out to vehicular assault and gotten a few weeks in the
slammer but he is a spoiled bitch so now he will probably do a lot more time
behind bars. There is this whole other hoopla that is going on between Britney's
dad and some text messages and phone calls that have been exchanged
between Adnan Ghalib and Sam Lutfi and Britney Spears but I am not
going to get into that here. Moral of the story be, don't fuck with Britney
or you will literally be fucked. I would say I feel sorry for Adnan but he
was gross enough to bang Britney when she was fat and psychotic so he
has been through enough punishment already.
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Here is a picture of Mischa Barton obviously channeling Boy George. Her
style is, as always, a flop. But she isn't pissed about being a permanent
walking fauz pas. She is pissed about some people calling her too fat or
too thin. To be perfrectly honest I haven't seen anyone mention Mischa
even briefly rather on a website or on television. So I don't see what the
hell she is saying about the weight rumors. Maybe she is sticking up for
Jessica Simpson who gained weight to get publicity and will do a super
sexy bikini layout after she gets thin again. Maybe she is sticking up for
Lindsay Lohan who people have been calling too thin. Even though she is
about the same weight she has been for the past 2 years. The point of the
post is, you can not stick up for people who are too thin and too fat. The
reason for this is because there is no such thing as the perfect weight. So
keep on looking like something Gucci crapped out of his ass. And leave
the fattys and the skinnys out of it. And while you're at it, lose 10 lbs.
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Some very good news today. Nicole Richie has apparently been knocked up
again. No word from her rep but that isn't necessary because Joel Madden
has taken the issue to his blog. He says, " I am so happy to tell everyone
that Harlow is going to be a big sister! God has truly blessed my family.
Hope you're all feeling as good as I am right now..." What family? Nicole
and Joel aren't even married yet. What the fuck are they waiting for? What
is he waiting for. Does he really think he is going to land a better piece of
ass than Nicole Richie if he ever breaks up with her? No word on how far
along Nicole is and of course no word on what the sex of the baby will be.
Probably alien. Yea. That is my bet. Alien.
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TMZ has officially leaked the photo the cops took of Rihanna the night she
got her ass kicked by Chris Brown. I shouldn't say TMZ leaked it, a police
officer leaked it. Since it was in the hands of the LAPD it was just a matter
of time before it hit the internet and I am glad it did. Not because I want
to see Rihanna bruised and bloody, because I want the world to see what
a monster Chris Brown is. I can not tell from the picture but I think her
nose is broken and you can see very clear contussions on the sides of her
forehead. It looks like Chris beat her from both ends and used both of
his fists. There were umors just after this story broke that Rihanna
actually lost conscienceness after the beating. After seeing this photo
I would not be surprised if that was the case at all. I am sure Rihanna
will heal up in the coming weeks and she will be back in the public eye
and she will look as good as ever. No word on when the Chris Brown trial
will begin. It seems outside from the leaked photo most of this case is
under lock and key which sucks but it is the LAPD that is handling it so
all of the details will be out soon enough.
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It is being reported that Rihanna's family, doesn't this bitch have a last name,
is hoping that after this manner is resolved that she will move on from Chris
Brown. After the abuse occured it sent a shock wave through Rihanna's family
because Chris Brown was always so gentle with Rihanna. Well they do not
think that anymore. One family member says, " He was always looking after
her needs, making sure she was very happy." Where does a quick right hook
to the eye qualify as " looking after her needs?" Anyway I am sick of this
story and I want it to go away until one of two things happen. 1. Chris Brown
is taken to trial and he loses or 2. Rihanna finally comes back out to the public
eye. Who will she hook up with next? Will she try to bury her pain in a lot of
late night drinking games at clubs? Sounds good to me. I have a feeling that
Rihanna will no longer be a goody good after all of this. But we will see.
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Rachel Bilson is notorious for being super cute but sadly I am reporting today
that she will soon be off the market. She is engaged to Hayden Christensen.
Lucky dog. For some reason with celebrities there is about a 2-3 month waiting
period before they go public with engagements. People is reporting that they
have been engaged since December. What the fuck? They as of today have not
set a wedding date. It is ok, Selena Gomez is still too young to fantasize about
but she will take Rachel Bilson's place as cutest single person over 18 years
old. They look a lot alike. For some reason People magazine and a number of
other tabloid sources always call a rep before posting a story. Bilson's rep
said, " I don't comment on my clients' personal lives." I think calling a rep
is a waste of time. But that is the way the cookie crumbles. So bad day for
single men, but don't worry there are plenty of fish in the sea. Not too many
good looking ones though.
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Lindsay Lohan didn't pay for that dress.
[ The Blemish ]

Lindsay Lohan still wants dick.
[ Fatback Media ]

Aubrey O'Day wants Ellen Degeneres'
girlfriend.
[ Geno's World ]

Audrina Patridge bikini pictures.
[ Egotastic ]

Mel B chows down at Mr.Chows.
[ Celebrity Puke ]

Before they were famous: Jude Law.
[ Seriously? OMG! WTF? ]

Want to buy Michael Jackson's socks?
[ popbytes ]

The best burger is NYC!
[ City Rag ]

Bristol Palin says teen sex is great.
[ Daily Stab ]

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel make about the most boring couple in
Hollywood. To change that, they are moving to New York, New York to
become the most boring couple in New York. Justin's mother Lynn Harless
says," The apartment is great. He's loving it." Why the fuck are they going
to go froma killer pad in Hollywood to a cramped up shitty little apartment
in New York? I guess they want to have more sex with each other and it
makes it easier to do so when you are constantly touching each other when
you are in a cramped little space. Will they get married? Doubt it. Justin
is still in the closet and I am sure that him getting hitched to a girl with
real live boobies scares the piss out of him. Jessica Biel will never find any-
one after she splits with J.T. She is way too butch. Estimated dating time
left 1 month 16 days 12 hours 3 minutes and 49 seconds.
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Sarah Blewden, nice name, has been banned from boxing because she has breast
implants. Maybe the dumb ass organizers think that breast implants give you
muscle when in reality they take away muscle in most cases. This isn't just some
other chick who likes to box. She actually had a shot of going to the next Olympics
and representing her country. In a very sexy way of course. The reason why whoever
banned her banned her is because they fear that a blow to the body could knock her
breast implants out of place and misshape her breast. I say let her worry about that.
This chick is hot to enough to bang even if she does have a lopsided boobie. There is
a big story on all this at Daily Mail blah,blah. She is hot. She can't box. In her spare
time she is a model. Get naked. Men cum. End of story.
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The Jonas Brothers appeared on Letterman last night. During the interview
Letterman asked Joe what his relationship with Taylor Swift was like and he
said, "You know... we didn't work out." In other words she wouldn't put out.
It kind of irks me that one of the hottest chicks in country music is 19 and
instead of having a new one night stand every single night she has gone out
of her way to tell the world she is a virgin. It is also annoying that being in
a boy band Joe has girls throwing themselves at him on a daily basis and he
has gone out of his way to tell people he is a virgin. Nick Jonas was asked
about dating Miley Cyrus but I am sure his prude ass probably got scared
every time he had a boner and started to cry. You know Miley wanted to
put out, but Nick would have none of it. The top 10 with the Jonas Brothers
went like this...

10. Our new 3D concert film puts you right in the middle of a six-hour tour bus ride from Pittsburgh to Albany.
9. Often we are astonished by how adorable we are.
8. Sometimes we lather, rinse, repeat and then repeat again!
7. Last Sunday night, I won a Grammy for “Best New Jonas.”
6. Osama said he’d come out of hiding if we’d meet his 15-year-old niece.
5. One time when we were on the road, things got really crazy and we stayed up until 10:30.
4. We’ve seen Paul Blart: Mall Cop 27 times.
3. Once a week we get mail for Dr. Joyce Brothers.
2. We have no idea who that old dude behind the desk is.
1. A couple years back, Angelina Jolie tried to adopt us.

Pretty funny.

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Win some free weed!
[ The Blemish ]

Heidi Klum nude!
[ Egotastic ]

Paris Hilton is the reason Chris Brown
beat the shit out of Rihanna.
[ Fatback Media ]

Come on down to NYC and destroy some
Chris Brown cd's and posters. Sounds like
fun.
[ Geno's World ]

Keira Knightly dresses like an old lady.
[ Celebrity Dirty Laundry ]

Dave Navarro has hot friends.
[ Celebrity Puke ]

Courtney Love is special.
[ popbytes ]

Before they were famous: Ashley
Tisdale.
[ Seriously? OMG! WTF? ]

NYC grafiti in big movies.
[ City Rag ]

It seems that all the hot actresses in Hollywood are spoken for. That is
probably because they have never met me. Anyway Mandy Moore is
now engaged to Ryan Adams. I don't know how long they have been
going out because I do not usually keep up with who is dating who. I do
however update this site with news when an actress either comes back
on to the market or goes off the market. Like I said, if they met me they
would love to live a life of meaningless sex and lust, but I digress. The
creepy thing about this hook up is that Mandy Moore is 24 and Ryan
Adams is 34. This officially inaugurates him into the dirty old man
association. I can't really blame him. I know when I turn 64 I will
still be staring at 20 year old pieces of tail and trying to muster a
boner with my pocket full of viagra. If you want to see a pic of this
loser just head over to Popeater and check out the freak extraordinaire.
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Katy Perry has netted cleavage.
[ The Blemish ]

Chris Brown is a sissy.
[ Fatback Media ]

Look out! Chris Brown has a
gun! Oh, it's a movie.
[ Celebrity Puke ]

Olga Kurylenko is white hot.
[ Egotastic ]

Lily Allen made some music.
[ popbytes ]

Whitney Houston had great
plastic surgery.
[ Celebrity Dirty Laundry ]

A-Rod used steroids. He now
becomes an asterisk.
[ Geno's World ]

Jessica Szohr has cool hair.
[ Seriously? OMG! WTF? ]

Join in on the Jessica Simpson
pregnancy rumors.
[ Daily Stab ]

There has been A LOT of news coverage covering the alleged beating of
a woman by Chris Brown. Earlier today Chris turned himself in to police
and was released on a $50,000 bail. Now it is revealed that it was in
fact Rihanna who was victimized. But it doesn't end there. Apparently
Chris pistol whipped Rihanna and will also be charged with illegal pos-
session of a firearm. It goes without saying that Chris Brown is a little
bitch that likes to beat up on women but the fact that he actually busted
out a gun and started to beat the super rich and super famous Rihanna
with it is pretty outstanding. The two were scheduled to perform at last
nights Grammy Awards, not together, but they both cancelled and
instead we got an earfull of Justin Timberlake and Al Green. Thanks
Rihanna. Why didn't she just put a band-aid on that shit and get up and
sing. She is kind of a weakling otherwise she would have pulled through.
My prediction? Chris Brown gets a minimum of 5 years in jail and Rihanna
presses full charges. Her next boy toy? Well me of course. Who do you
think you're talking to?
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When I was in junior high I used to wear a Burnt Crispies t-shirts that was
basically making fun of Rice Crispies and promoted marijuana. well Kellogg's
will not get fucked around with. Recently Michael Phelps was pictured on the
box of Kellogg's Frosted Flakes and now they have since taken his picture down.
Because he took ONE HIT from a bong. Damn. According to a Kellogg's spokes-
woman, she says, " We originally built the relationship with Michael, as well
as the other Olympic athletes, to support our association with the U.S. Olympic
team. Michael's most recent behavior is not consistent with the image of
Kellogg. His contract expires at the end of February and we have made a
decision not to extend his contract." What a bunch of cunts. If I were
Michael I would go to Amsterdam and smoke the best weed they had out of
the biggest bong that they had and tell the American veiwing public," Hey!
Look at me! I am 23 years old and will do whatever the fuck I want. " But
more than likely he will probably just lose more endorsement deals. Same
difference. He was on SNL and a number of other shows and commercials
and people still think he is a dork so it doesn't really matter what he does.
All I have to say is, rather you are an advertiser or not, your ass can't
swim as good as Phelps and have 0, 0 gold medals so fuck off.
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Jessica Alba just recently had a baby and usually when a celebrity has a
kid their body goes back to exactly what it was before. Thin. But that is
usually because they can afford the best personal trainers in Hollywood
and eat whatever the fuck their dietician tells them to. Not Alba. She
tells Elle magazine that her secret to looking so good on the red carpet
after her baby was a girdle. What a lazy bitch. She goes on to tell the
magazine just how lazy she was. She says, " [The workouts] were
horrible. I cried. And I haven't worked out since." She is also not too
jazzed about being away from her new born baby. No word on what
movie she is actually working on, but the producers and the huge
paycheck take a back seat to being amother. You see, this is why I am
not a father. If I was a father but also a movie star, I would be talking
the shit out of the movie I was working on and just how rich I was getting
because of it. "Oh and the kid? He is at home right now. Probably pooping."
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Remember Sam Lutfi? The guy who was Britney Spears' partner in crime
when she was suffering badly from her mental illness? Also was the guy who
said he had sexy nude photos of Spears that he was going to sell to the tabloids?
Or maybe that was Adnan Ghalib. I don't remember. Anyway, what is important
is that Sam Lutfi is iina shit load of debt and needs to get some quick cash. What
better way to do that but sue Britney Spears. The charges range from libel,
defemation and even battery. Battery? Is he claiming that Britney Spears
attacked him? Considering the mental state she was in it is probably possible
but even if she did attack him she probably doesn't remember it cause she was
a head case back then. Sam has both credit card debt and a home loan debt which
tallys up altogether as $26,474.56. Damn! That is a lot of scratch. I am sure he is
suing Britney for 6 figures but it is doubtful he will get it. Because if there is one
thing Britney can afford, besides paying off a false lawsuit, is a kick ass legal
team which will represent her in court while she is off touring. Go Brit! And I
hope the naked pictures of her surface very soon.
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Nick Hogan has his liscense back.
[ The Blemish ]

Scarlett Johansson has ugly hair.
[ Egotastic ]

Joe Francis is back in the clink.
[ Fatback Media ]

Kurt Russel is vintage.
[ Celebrity Puke ]

Tori Spelling is coming back to
90210.
[ popbytes ]

Simon Cowell has always had chest
hair.
[ Seriously? OMG! WTF? ]

Christian Bale is a cry baby.
[ Celebrity Dirty Laundry ]

Robert Downey Jr. thinks Iron
Man 2 will kick ass. I think it
will suck.
[ Geno's World ]

NY has great food.
[ City Rag ]

People think that after you have dated Hugh Hefner, life can't get any better.
But in reality, when you break up with Hugh Hefner you go back to your home
town to become a waitress. That is no longer a fact of life anymore. Kendra
Wilkinson proves there is life after Hef. In the new reality show she will do all
the regular reality show things. Like shopping, paying bills and even planning
a wedding to Eagles player Hank Baskett. I always appreciate it when the girl
from Playboy isn't getting anymore attention they go to Hustler or Penthouse
but Kendra is a good girl so she will not be getting into hardcore porn. Too bad.
The name of the show? Kendra. That is appropriate. I honestly doubt I will
watch the show because it is on E! and they don't have the best reality shows.
I will give it a shot though. Time to impress me Kendra.
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