Celebrity News

It is being reported that Angelina Jolie just inked a $10 million deal with Louis Vuitton and will be the new face of the print only ads. I think that is cool cause I like the super expensive name brand stuff but I really like this news cause it involves looking at Angelina Jolie and not hearing Angelina Jolie. She is hot as fuck but I could do without the whole acting thing cause she is a smug bitch just like her loser boyfriend Brad Pitt.

Angelina Jolie has seven tattoos. She just got her seventh which is a longitude and latitude for Brad Pitt's birthplace, Oklahoma. The rest of the L&L tattoos represent where her kids are from. She got this tattoo in secret cause everything Brangelina does is a secret cause those fuckers hate every one else on planet earth except for themselves. I personally think the L&L tats are lame as shit but she thinks they are cool so for each their own.

Last night was The People's Choice Awards and unlike many other gossip bloggers, I did not watch. However, the people have spoken and they chose Kristen Stewart as the most adored female celebrity or some shit. She even beat Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie which many people would think is a Herculean challenge but I find to be quite reasonable. I love seeing Angelina Jolie naked as much as the next guy but she just doesn't really do it for me and Jennifer Aniston is smokin' hot and everything but the only thing she was good in was He's Just Not That Into You which was a good movie because of all the other excellent stars in it. Congrats Kristen! You deserve it.

Chelsea Handler is not done talking about Angelina Jolie yet- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Angelina Jolie was on Larry King Live last night ( that guy isn't dead already?) and she was asked about her children. When talking about the future of her family she said that having more kids either by getting pregnant or adopting was not out of the question. If she did have another kid, adopting or otherwise, she would have seven kids total. That shit is just too much. And when Brad gets older and starts to have a true midlife crisis at 50, well, let's just say that things are not going to turn out pretty. He will abandon the brood I am sure. I have been making that prediction for years now really because I have no respect for Brad Pitt. As for Angie, I think she is past the healthy point to have kids biologically. Getting pregnant at her age, there is a big chance of malformations and mental retardation etc. I don't like Brangelina but that doesn't mean I want them to have fucked up kids so even though people think that Angie is tooo good of a humanitarian and that she should not adopt again, I truly think that is the best route to go.

I made my case here on this blog the other day that I can't stand Brad Pitt and don't find Angelina Jolie all that attractive but that doesn't mean I don't want to fuck her. I would love to do so just to get back at Brad for fucking up his family with Jennifer Aniston but I also wanna be Brad Pitt's hand and more importantly, replace his hand with my dick. Angie isn't all that hot but I could always put a brown paper bag over her face and have my way with her. I think I could do that too because she is freaky like that.

LMAO! Chelsea Handler who happens to be best friends or apparently best friends with Jennifer Aniston called Angelina Jolie a "cunt" and bitch" during a stand up comedy routine in New Jersey last night. I am still not really sure what people see in Angelina Jolie as I have never had a crush on her and I think her personality is one of the coldest and strangest on the planet. Therefore, I totally agree with Chelsea and I hope Angelina and that smug motherfucker Brad Pitt have a good time with each other cause I am pretty sure no one else in Hollywood even likes them in the slightest.

It seems that Angelina Jolie is back up to her "my shit don't stink" tricks again. She says she doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving because it is a "story of murder". Considering her fucked up transgender offspring wants a dead pet and Angelina used to shoot heroin while hanging pics of dead people in her loft, I don't see why she would have a problem with that. The people here at Notorious News (and by people I mean me) think that Thanksgiving is one of the best holidays of the year. It is right up there with MLK Day and Veteran's Day. LOVING Thanksgiving and this Thanksgiving Eve I am headed to St.Louis to I can eat some awesome food tomorrow and acknowledge how truly lucky I am to live in the best country in the world. #USA!

The Biebs is injured. Laugh Out Loud!- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt think that the best place for their kids to go to school is in Budapest. I swear some celebrities are fucking retarded but Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie take the fucking cake. It is bad enough that their first born is a fucking boy ( who is actually a girl) and that they have to deal with the complication of having their entire lives surrounded by paprazzi but now Brad and Angelina think the best thing for them is to start school in another fucking country. Retards. Seriously. Retards!

In a recent interview with CNN Angelina Jolie admits she doesn't have a lot of friends. She says when she is overseas she basically just talks to Brad Pitt and the kids and that is it. I can understand why she doesn't have a lot of friends. I mean what is likeable about Angelina Jolie? She has a killer body and is extremely attractive so I could see how she has a boyfriend but I don't see why anyone who isn't doing something on a Friday night would wanna hang with Angelina and change diapers and talk about starving babies in Pakistan. That is shit greedy Americans like myself could give two shits about.

There is some British magazine that interviewed Angelina Jolie the other day and since Angelina has to be the center of attention anywhere she goes, she decided to sit down with a mag that would kiss her ass the entire time. During the interview they politely asked why Shiloah was such a Tom Boy and she said that she lets her daughter dress the way she wants and that it is important for a kid to express themself. Not all kids. When I was a kid I had to wear a head to toe navy blue uniform to my catholic school 5 days a week. Usually wearing the uniform for the rest of the day. I am sure it is Angelina's goal to be a "free spirit" and a "liberal" but really she just comes across as a snug whore. I hate Brangelina and hope they fuck up their family just like Brad did to Jennifer Aniston.

So close!

Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz: back on?
[ The Blemish ]

Katy Perry's ass in a tight dress.
[ Drunken Stepfather ]

Tracy Morgan is in Hollywood.
[ Celebrity Puke ]

Miranda Kerr needs to drop that bikini bottom.
[ Egotastic ]

Charlie Sheen is a cheating cheater.
[ Fatback Media ]

Is Angelina Jolie three months preggers?
[ Popbytes ]

Finally! I have always been a fan of Angelina Jolie in her personal life but I always
thought, actually knew, her acting sucked. Why quitting? What other reason would
Saint Angelina give other than to be a full time mother. She tells BBC news, "I don't
plan to keep acting very long. I'm ready to do a few things now and fade away and
get ready to be a grandma one day." A grandma? Aren't your kids like 5? Callin'
it quits a bit early aren't ya Angie? Whatever. Angie can't call it quits soon enough.
The biggest hit she will have in her entire life will be Changeling and that is because
Clint Eastwood was behind the camera and that is a fact. She also tells BBC news, "
First and foremost, I have a lot of children, and I need to make sure they're growing
right and they've got us there for them." well you do have alot of kids. She has got
that right. But what is this us you talk about? Are you suggesting that Brad Pitt will
quit acting to hang out with your old ass? Don't bet on it.
Source

More than likely, since it was a public affair, we will never hear the end of the
back and forth bitching between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. According
to sources Brad Pitt recently called Jen to tell her that it was uncool to call
Brangelina "uncool." What Aniston told Vogue magazine was that the fact that
Brad got a divorce after meeting Jolie on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and
him leaving her for Jolie was "very uncool." After a number of failed relationships
on Aniston's part, I believe that she is the one who is uncool. Just look at how cool
Brad Pitt is. He's got a hot wife, beautiful ever expanding family and has all the
Hollywood work one guy can tackle at a time. That is cool in my book. What Aniston?
You think perfect blonde hair and millions of dollars will make you poular? I don't
think so. Just because you have a c-cup and an ass that you can bounce a quarter
off of doesn't make... ok ,yes you are cool. Now will you please have sex with me?
Source

This bitch is fucking bizarre. In her upcoming interview with W magazine she admits
to passing down the knives she got from her mother as a teenager to her 7 year old
son Maddox. She also admits to being a self mutilater in her teen years. The self mutilation
doesn't surprise me but thinking that Brad approves of his oldest boy handling knives
at such an early age is a little hard to swallow. She also admits to stabbing friends and
letting her friends stab her. "I got knives out and had a night where we attacked each
other... it felt so primitive and it felt so honest... and then I had to deal with, you know,
not telling my mother, hiding things, wearing gauze bandages to high school." What a
freak! Freaky in a good way. But honestly if I knew a girl in high school that I knew was
a self mutilator, she would have to be pretty hot for me to date them. In Angelina Jolie's
case, yes I would fuck her. Can you imagine Angelina bringing her little boy along to
a bank and him whipping out a 6 inch switchblade? This will make news people. I am
telling you now. Source

Here you have the November issue of W magazine. On it is a picture that Brad Pitt
took of his wife Angelina while she is breastfeeding on of her kids. Which kid? I have
no idea. They have so many kids it is hard to keep track of. Nevertheless, there is the
little bugger going to town on Angelina Jolie's tit. Jealous? Jealous is not the word.
Maybe somewhere in some foreign language that I am not aware of there is a word
to describe what I am feeling towards that kid right now. And you know what else?
She is gonna be just fine. Most "normal" people after breastfeeding for weeks on end
they start to lose the maliability of their breast. But not Angelina. She will bounce right
back into place. Because she is a celebrity. And celebrities are perfect. The same goes
for Gwen Stefani. After she is done breastfeeding her little ankle-biter she will maintain
healthy looking breats. Of course, Gwen didn't HAVE breasts before getting pregnant.
So anything upstairs is an improvement.