Celebrity News

Barack Obama and Michelle Obama met with Prince William and Kate Middleton yesterday who now go by different names which I will not use here cause I think all that English proper name bullshit is gay. I am not sure what they talked about and since Barack is a rock star I am sure he just visited so he could get his mug in the tabloids. Just like why he downed a pint of Guiness in Ireland a bit ago.

Prince William and Kate Middleton have finally decided to go off on their honeymoon and it will cost a hardy $4k a night at the place they are staying. You totally know they are going to do it and more than likely concieve where ever they are going. Good for them. Prince William is a lucky man.

If I were Prince William and I was about to be crowned the King of England and just married one of the hottest chicks on the planet and was viewed by billions on my wedding day, I would be ready for some R&R and I would DEFINITELY be ready to get laid. For some odd reason Prince William and Kate Middleton are not going to go on a honeymoon right away. I would. Hang in there William my boy. You will get some poon tang soon enough.

Prince William is one lucky fucker. Not only is he marrying a smokin' hot hotty and being throned as the Kind Of England in the near future but he is gonna have Jay-Z and Beyonce perform the song "Crazy In Love" after they both say "I Do". I am not sure if Beyonce and Jay-Z are going to get paid for the gig. Most people would do the show for free because they respect the royal family but those fuckers are greedy so they are probably asking for over $100k.

Prince William is probably doing the smartest thing many, many men had thought of before him. He is being open and honest about not wanting to wear a wedding band. Kate Middleton, or Princess Kate soon, will still wear a pure gold wedding band but not William. This means he can go to whatever high society event in the world and say, "Oh yea. That whole Kate Middleton thing? It's over. LET'S BONE!"

Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married soon and the Queen of England has invited a shitload of royalty to the wedding but she accidentally forgot to invite Barack and Michelle Obama. WTF? I am sure they are too busy to attend anyway and it seems that The Queen is more interested in inviting monarchy leaders than legitimate world leaders to the event. I think that is bullshit but no one ever said the Brits were right in the head anyway.

As everyone already knows Prince William is getting married to a 24 karat piece of ass. If I were in his shoes I would be sleeping with as many women as possible with the lure of, "you could be a real life princess". That would get him a lot of tail. Anyway he settled and now his brother Prince Harry will be his best man. I am sure there is some monarchy law saying he has to be best man but the tabloids are pretty sure that he chose him.

Prince William and Kate Middleton who are probably one of the hottest couples in the tabloids and are most likely the hottest couple in the U.K. spent time away from each other this past Christmas holiday because Prince William was volunteering for some search and rescue shit and Kate spent Christmas Eve with her folks. I can't wait until they both decide to go to a beach when the weather is nicer and I actually get to see this chick in a bikini because even underneath those layers of winter clothes, I know she has a slammin' body that is just BEGGING to come out.