Celebrity News

Barack Obama and Michelle Obama met with Prince William and Kate Middleton yesterday who now go by different names which I will not use here cause I think all that English proper name bullshit is gay. I am not sure what they talked about and since Barack is a rock star I am sure he just visited so he could get his mug in the tabloids. Just like why he downed a pint of Guiness in Ireland a bit ago.

Prince William and Kate Middleton have finally decided to go off on their honeymoon and it will cost a hardy $4k a night at the place they are staying. You totally know they are going to do it and more than likely concieve where ever they are going. Good for them. Prince William is a lucky man.

If I were Prince William and I was about to be crowned the King of England and just married one of the hottest chicks on the planet and was viewed by billions on my wedding day, I would be ready for some R&R and I would DEFINITELY be ready to get laid. For some odd reason Prince William and Kate Middleton are not going to go on a honeymoon right away. I would. Hang in there William my boy. You will get some poon tang soon enough.

Last night, or a I should say this morning at 3 am Kate Middleton and Prince William got hitched. This was like a red carpet event of all red carpet events and it was rumored to be viewed by over 2 billion people worldwide. Anyway, Kate Middleton wore Alexander McQueen which is guess is a good designer? I dunno cause I could give a fuck about high end fashion but I wouldn't say the dress looks ugly, so there ya go. You fashion post for the month.

Prince William is one lucky fucker. Not only is he marrying a smokin' hot hotty and being throned as the Kind Of England in the near future but he is gonna have Jay-Z and Beyonce perform the song "Crazy In Love" after they both say "I Do". I am not sure if Beyonce and Jay-Z are going to get paid for the gig. Most people would do the show for free because they respect the royal family but those fuckers are greedy so they are probably asking for over $100k.

The other day Kate Middleton's parents met Queen Elizabeth for the first time and I am sure it was an honor and all that jazz but what is really cool is that Kate Middleton's mother was photographed for the tabloids probably for the first time. She is like a hot little English Sarah Palin. Without the glasses. I think her and Audrina Patridge's mom should have a jello fight to decide who is the hotter MILF. Then, after that, Kate Middleton and Audrina Patridge face off to decide who is gonna fuck me. That sounds just.

Prince William is probably doing the smartest thing many, many men had thought of before him. He is being open and honest about not wanting to wear a wedding band. Kate Middleton, or Princess Kate soon, will still wear a pure gold wedding band but not William. This means he can go to whatever high society event in the world and say, "Oh yea. That whole Kate Middleton thing? It's over. LET'S BONE!"

Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married soon and the Queen of England has invited a shitload of royalty to the wedding but she accidentally forgot to invite Barack and Michelle Obama. WTF? I am sure they are too busy to attend anyway and it seems that The Queen is more interested in inviting monarchy leaders than legitimate world leaders to the event. I think that is bullshit but no one ever said the Brits were right in the head anyway.

Prince William and Kate Middleton who are probably one of the hottest couples in the tabloids and are most likely the hottest couple in the U.K. spent time away from each other this past Christmas holiday because Prince William was volunteering for some search and rescue shit and Kate spent Christmas Eve with her folks. I can't wait until they both decide to go to a beach when the weather is nicer and I actually get to see this chick in a bikini because even underneath those layers of winter clothes, I know she has a slammin' body that is just BEGGING to come out.

It has been made public as of a few days ago that Prince Harry has proposed to his long time girlfriend Kate Middleton but now it is being reported, and Prince Harry confirmed, that he proposed to his fiance with Princess Diana's engagement ring that she got in 1981. I think it is cool that Prince Harry pulled in such an amazing piece of ass. Kate Middleton is flat out hot and I hope they fuck a million times on their honeymoon. Congrats y'all!