Celebrity News

If you told me that Jessica Simpson was thinking about having aprenup for her marriage I would have said "wtf for?" but now it is clear that her net worth is close to $100 million and she is only getting richer. Congrats kids. All your superficial clothing that you buy at Macy's is making Jessica Simpson rich and snobby and she is ruining the sanctity of marriage by getting a prenup. I hope you are proud of yourself.

It seems that Jessica Simpson is... I can't believe I am saying... good at something. Yes. She has a niche. After a failed music career and pathetic attempts to try to make her life interesting for the tabloids she actually found something that she is good at. Fashion. According to New York Fashion she is a fashion icon. I personally could give a fuck less about her crappy over preppy style of clothing but apparently a bunch of shallow fuckers out there love it. Her clothing line is about to cross the $1 billion mark anytime soon and has already grossed $750 million. Leaving Jess with an estimated net worth of ...dun dun dun...$100 million. This is pretty surprising because I thought her primary source of income was selling pics to tabloids like all the other goofy looking attention whores do.

Angelina Jolie isn't the only cunt celebrity out there to fuck up the awesome tradition that is Thanksgiving. Jessica Simpson is going to have a tofu turkey this year with her fag vegan fiance. This sounds terrible but since everyone is on Jessica's case about her weight, maybe a little vegan food is good for her. She also tells People magazine that her fiance asked everyone in the family if he could have their blessing before he popped the question to Jessica. "Everyone knew but me" she cooed.

It seems that Jessica Simpson may not have gotten engaged just because her ex husband Nick Lachey promised to get hitched. She may possibly be with child. If you look at the pic to the left and search the net for more recent Jessica Simpson pics, she looks to have a double chin. Now this could be because of food but I think it is because she is preggers. I would love to be her gynecologist but I would like to be him even if she wasn't pregnant.

In more engagement ring news... Jessica Simpson paid for her own engagement ring. You know a bitch is desperate to get off the market when she sort of proposes for you. I am convinced that Jessica is only getting married because it was announced last week that Nick Lachey was going to get hitched to Vanessa Minnillo. Anyway, maybe Jessica's new beau and Vanessa and Nick can get together and have a four way? I would like that. Minus the dudes.

I think I may have mentioned here before that Jessica Simpson is being taken off the market just days after Nick Lachey announced that he is marrying Vanessa Minnillo. This dude that Jessica is marrying of course is some big boned footballer guy because she can never give skinny guys a chance. Also, she is not signing a prenup. Which makes sense because let's face it, if anyone is going to be doing some golddigging in this relationship it is going to be Jessica. Let's hope this chick gets preggers soon, ruins her body and becomes an afterthought in the world of tabloids.

Pete Wentz, who is apparently a pro at romantic relationships says that Jessica Simpson is in love with this meat head fucker from NFL, Eric Johnson. I don't really see why Jessica can't try her hand at more normal dudes but I guess that by fucking celebrities she will keep herself relevant. That and by selling the most hideous and repulsive shit at Macy's. Anyway, I think Ashlee is one of the most beautiful women in the world and any story that is remotely relevant to Ashlee, I will write about it. congrats Jessica, you got my attention.

OK I don't remember the last time Jessica Simpson has released a song and she is pretty much the poster child for people who try to stay relevant on a regular basis by releasing perfumes and clothing lines and all kinds of other horse shit. If she wanted to be seen why not start a charity or something? Oh that's right, because Jessica Simpson could give a flying fuck less about anyone other than Jessica Simpson. I hope males across this country and the world for that matter realize that this prude ass chick is never going to get naked for any reason and that we are all hopeless suckers for giving her attention and hoping she would do so. I am over her, I wish the public would be too.

Jessica Simpson, it seems, can not be alone for more than two seconds so she found a new guy who is a former NFL player as I reported the other day. Only one thing is coming out now, he is still married. Everyone says there is a shit load of shit that comes with getting divorced but if two people REALLY don't wanna be together anymore, the divorce can happen fairly quickly. So I think this guy is just using Jessica as a booty call and will dump her ass after a couple of weeks. Wouldn't that be cool? To see a guy one night stand a bitch as famous as Jessica? There would be a lot of LOLing going on here for sure.

Jessica Simpson has some sort of weird fetish with men who playing in the NFL. I guess she likes to chug back protein shakes and lift weights with them cause the bitch has got some serious meat on her these days. She has her own show now and has zero chance of ever making it in the music world again because, let's face it, she was only famous on the stage because of her looks in the first place. What I wish I had more of is that fine little piece of ass that is related to her, Ashlee Simpson. I haven't seen her in the tabloids lately and I miss her. Anyway, Jessica's va jay jay found a new piece of meat. Good for her. I guess.

It seems that even though Jessica Simpson is known as this squeaky clean chick who is the role model for...cleanliness, she doesn't brush her teeth every day. She said on The Ellen DeGeneres Show,"My lips just slide all over the place....I can't catch up with my mouth," she continues. "I need a little coating....". I can help her with "a little coating". My spunk is known to almost superglue girls mouths shut after they pleasure me orally. My junk is just super powered like that.

Britney Spears is braless,again. ::puke::
[ The Blemish ]

Snooki and her sluts at the beach.
[ Drunken Stepfather ]

J.Lo is in Hollywood.
[ Celebrity Puke ]

Separated at boobs.
[ City Rag ]

Fuck a duck!
[ Egotastic ]

Doug Reinhardt wasted $2 million on Paris Hilton's skank ass.
[ Fatback Media ]

Legalbytes.
[ Popbytes ]

Jessica Simpson has a small and pathetic life, but all of a sudden it seems that she
might actually be worth something. At the Miss USA pageant, all of the models
or whatever you call them are all wearing the Jessica Simpson line of bikinis. Even
Jessica Simpson doesn't wear her line of bikinis. I basically only brought this to the
forefront because I wanted an excuse to post pictures of girls in bikinis. But for
a thing like that, you don't really need an excuse. So congrats Jessica! I hope when
you go to hell it isn't 1,000 degrees and instead just 700.
Source

Everyone knows that Jessica Simpson has a big rack. And in the olden days,meaning
around the year 2003, her dad made a lot of comments about his daughter's enormous
bounty. But now it is her mom via Twitter that is saying things about her daughter's
tits. Shw wrote in her Twitter account, "Driving homein my GWagon with Jess... both
are fast and top heavy!" She may as well just said heavy, because these days she
doesn't weigh all that much less than a GWagon. What the fuck is a GWagon anyway?
Gangsta Wagon? Who knows? More news on Jessica Simpson and her cellulite ridden
ass tomorrow.
Source

Ooh la la. Very hot. I don't know where Jessica Simpson is or what song she was
singing at this concert but what I can tell you is that there is a very nice veiw of
her ass. Upskirts for mega celebs like Jessica are rare these days. Or at least
rare for them to be not wearing underwear. Granted this isn't a "money shot"
upskirt where you would be seeing the front side of her, but I will settle for
this. Aside from the joy I get from seeing a good portion of Jessica Simpson's
ass, I still think, no know, that she is probably the least talented star in Hollywood.
But then again she sings country music now, so she probably lives in Nashville.
Congradulations Jessica, you have out smarted us again.

Thats right. The same place Steve-O was in. Could imagine them having
hot monkey sex with each other in a broom closet? I can! Anyway, her reps
are saying it was because of a kidney infection but are saying she is feeling
great now. How the hell do you even know when you are having a kidney
infection? I personally think the kidney infection thing is just a cover up
for some wrong doing. I can barely imagine Jessica Simpson on drugs. But
it is possible. I don't think it is outside the realm of possibility. Anyway she
is back to normal, if you want to call her normal. Source